In the final installation of my post series beginning with thoughts on how information is not an invitation and how it’s possible to sexually harass sex educators, I’ll talk about why it’s not just graphic sexual materials that are problematic. We all know, as denizens of the internet, that it’s impolite to send dick pics. […]
boundaries
I Work With Sexuality, But I’m Not Immune To Sexual Harassment
This is a continuation of my blog post, Information Is Not An Invitation. Simply put, just because I work with sexuality materials as a career doesn’t mean I’m magically immune to sexual harassment. That would be cool, but it’s not the case. As I wrote in my post about sexuality in and out of context, […]
Information Is Not An Invitation
There are two fantastic blog posts out there that are reminders to readers on the internet that just because someone openly blogs about their life, doesn’t mean you know them. The first is A Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Know Me by Ella Dawson; the second is A Less Than Friendly Reminder That You Don’t […]
Dancing Is All About Choices – And So Is Sex
Enjoy this vintage post from 2011, written while I was spending a year in Estonia finishing my PhD. I’ve added a picture from my time in Estonia, from a photoshoot I did with the ladies I belly danced with while there. This is to emphasize the creative choices that go into belly dancing: costuming, makeup, […]
Sex Positivity and Sex out of Context
I’m a big believer in the sex-positive movement, but this blog post is about contexts wherein open talk of sexuality – which is one of the things the movement promotes – can be problematic. There’s a misunderstanding about sex positivity, which conflates it with the idea that one should be having as much sex as […]
The Misagreement
One of the biggest problems I see people in relationships of all kinds facing is miscommunication. This takes many forms: people not saying what they mean because they’re afraid to be that vulnerable, one person saying something but their partner hearing something else, total communication breakdowns where no one’s even trying, and so on. In this […]
Sexually Active ≠ Unprincipled
One of the ways American culture gets sex wrong is by linking sexual activity with assumptions of being unprincipled, unethical, and perhaps even immoral. Historically, yes, we can somewhat blame the Puritans for upholding an atmosphere of sexual vigilance, wherein any deviation from heterosexual marital intimacy was violently punished. People who had affairs, or performed […]
Date People You Admire And Can Learn From
This is a choose-your-own adventure blog post. You can replace “Date” in the title with any verb that’s applicable to you: “hang out with,” “be friends with,” “hop into bed with,” or whatever gets you excited about human connection and is in line with your ethics and your relationship agreements. This is also a blog […]
The Puzzle Box Model of Sex
Recently, I saw a blog post called “I am not a puzzle box” making the rounds on Facebook. It was popular for a very good reason: it provided a metaphor that explains why “creepy” behaviors and harassment are so often made out to be innocuous, normal, or the fault of the victim. The author’s main […]
Teaching Relationships Empowers Everyone (The Case for Sex Ed Part 7)
In this installment of my The Case for Sex Ed blog post series, I’m going to address how teaching the basics of equitable relationships as part of a sex education curriculum can improve the lives of teens and everyone. When we talk about relationships there’s a tendency to assume that we mean sexual and/or romantic […]