Why do we find certain things sexy, and other things un-sexy? How much of our desires are governed by genes, or culture, or individual quirks? From being turned on by “normal” things like a glimpse of an attractive body to the less mainstream attractions like fetish wear and pain, there are a variety of factors […]
Culture
Just Because You’re Not Into It Doesn’t Mean Someone Else Can’t Be
I want to address a common misconception I see in discussions of sexual preferences, in part because it’s helping lay a foundation for a discussion of sex work I’m going to explore in some upcoming posts. People seem to have this idea that if they’re not into it, no one else can be or should […]
It’s Not Okay To Judge Consensual Sex Acts
Sigh. Okay. I didn’t want to write this post, but I guess I have to. Consider me a reluctant defender of sexual freedom, even when the particular sexual desire under question does seem kinda icky to me. Here goes: as the academic cohort on the internet knows, a recent kinky sex ad went viral and […]
Don’t Send Dick Pics of Your Brain
In the final installation of my post series beginning with thoughts on how information is not an invitation and how it’s possible to sexually harass sex educators, I’ll talk about why it’s not just graphic sexual materials that are problematic. We all know, as denizens of the internet, that it’s impolite to send dick pics. […]
Information Is Not An Invitation
There are two fantastic blog posts out there that are reminders to readers on the internet that just because someone openly blogs about their life, doesn’t mean you know them. The first is A Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Know Me by Ella Dawson; the second is A Less Than Friendly Reminder That You Don’t […]
Dancing Is All About Choices – And So Is Sex
Enjoy this vintage post from 2011, written while I was spending a year in Estonia finishing my PhD. I’ve added a picture from my time in Estonia, from a photoshoot I did with the ladies I belly danced with while there. This is to emphasize the creative choices that go into belly dancing: costuming, makeup, […]
Sex Positivity and Sex out of Context
I’m a big believer in the sex-positive movement, but this blog post is about contexts wherein open talk of sexuality – which is one of the things the movement promotes – can be problematic. There’s a misunderstanding about sex positivity, which conflates it with the idea that one should be having as much sex as […]
Trans People Aren’t Sick, The Entire F*cking Patriarchy Is
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around autogynephilia for a few months now, and while I’m still evaluating the evidence for and against it, I want to make a point: when we pathologize people who do gender differently, we’re responding rationally within a sick system. Autogynephilia is a concept dating from the 1980s that […]
Sexually Active ≠ Unprincipled
One of the ways American culture gets sex wrong is by linking sexual activity with assumptions of being unprincipled, unethical, and perhaps even immoral. Historically, yes, we can somewhat blame the Puritans for upholding an atmosphere of sexual vigilance, wherein any deviation from heterosexual marital intimacy was violently punished. People who had affairs, or performed […]
When Our Bodies Change
Now for a vintage Dr. Jeana blog post from three years ago today! This post was originally published at MySexProfessor.com and I still struggle with body image, though in the intervening years, I’ve reached some peace with my body. How we feel about our bodies definitely impacts our sexuality, though, as scholars like Dr. Emily […]