Just Because You’re Not Into It Doesn’t Mean Someone Else Can’t Be

I want to address a common misconception I see in discussions of sexual preferences, in part because it’s helping lay a foundation for a discussion of sex work I’m going to explore in some upcoming posts. People seem to have this idea that if they’re not into it, no one else can be or should […]

The “Dating Rules” Idea

What’s up with the spate of rules that fathers make about dating their daughters? I’m sure you’ve all heard some variation of the whole “oh, so you’re dating my daughter, have I mentioned that I have a shotgun?” dating rules. Maybe they’re meant to be jokes, but they also communicate something very specific about what […]

I Work With Sexuality, But I’m Not Immune To Sexual Harassment

This is a continuation of my blog post, Information Is Not An Invitation. Simply put, just because I work with sexuality materials as a career doesn’t mean I’m magically immune to sexual harassment. That would be cool, but it’s not the case. As I wrote in my post about sexuality in and out of context, […]

Information Is Not An Invitation

There are two fantastic blog posts out there that are reminders to readers on the internet that just because someone openly blogs about their life, doesn’t mean you know them. The first is A Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Know Me by Ella Dawson; the second is A Less Than Friendly Reminder That You Don’t […]

Dancing Is All About Choices – And So Is Sex

Enjoy this vintage post from 2011, written while I was spending a year in Estonia finishing my PhD. I’ve added a picture from my time in Estonia, from a photoshoot I did with the ladies I belly danced with while there. This is to emphasize the creative choices that go into belly dancing: costuming, makeup, […]

Sex Positivity and Sex out of Context

I’m a big believer in the sex-positive movement, but this blog post is about contexts wherein open talk of sexuality – which is one of the things the movement promotes – can be problematic. There’s a misunderstanding about sex positivity, which conflates it with the idea that one should be having as much sex as […]

The Misagreement

One of the biggest problems I see people in relationships of all kinds facing is miscommunication. This takes many forms: people not saying what they mean because they’re afraid to be that vulnerable, one person saying something but their partner hearing something else, total communication breakdowns where no one’s even trying, and so on. In this […]