Why do we find certain things sexy, and other things un-sexy? How much of our desires are governed by genes, or culture, or individual quirks? From being turned on by “normal” things like a glimpse of an attractive body to the less mainstream attractions like fetish wear and pain, there are a variety of factors […]
sex
Why Can’t We Just Talk About Sex?
I’m annoyed at our sex-phobic culture a lot of the time, for a lot of reasons, but today it’s specifically because we consider it taboo to talk about sex outside of a few limited contexts. When is it okay to talk about sex? Presumably with one’s partner(s) – though in the mainstream culture it’s assumed […]
Sex At Dawn: Book Review
I wrote this review in 2011 when Sex at Dawn had just come out. Yes, I know some of my academic colleagues have problems with the book, and I don’t think it’s perfect… but I still maintain that it makes an important contribution to the conversation about the intersections of sex and culture. Enjoy! Sex […]
I Work With Sexuality, But I’m Not Immune To Sexual Harassment
This is a continuation of my blog post, Information Is Not An Invitation. Simply put, just because I work with sexuality materials as a career doesn’t mean I’m magically immune to sexual harassment. That would be cool, but it’s not the case. As I wrote in my post about sexuality in and out of context, […]
Dancing Is All About Choices – And So Is Sex
Enjoy this vintage post from 2011, written while I was spending a year in Estonia finishing my PhD. I’ve added a picture from my time in Estonia, from a photoshoot I did with the ladies I belly danced with while there. This is to emphasize the creative choices that go into belly dancing: costuming, makeup, […]
Sex Positivity and Sex out of Context
I’m a big believer in the sex-positive movement, but this blog post is about contexts wherein open talk of sexuality – which is one of the things the movement promotes – can be problematic. There’s a misunderstanding about sex positivity, which conflates it with the idea that one should be having as much sex as […]
Sexually Active ≠ Unprincipled
One of the ways American culture gets sex wrong is by linking sexual activity with assumptions of being unprincipled, unethical, and perhaps even immoral. Historically, yes, we can somewhat blame the Puritans for upholding an atmosphere of sexual vigilance, wherein any deviation from heterosexual marital intimacy was violently punished. People who had affairs, or performed […]
Stigma & Sexuality
If we define stigma as an undesirable identity that gets attributed to a person (often against their wishes), then it’s possible to explore the intersections of stigma and sexual identity, sexual acts, and so on. In this blog post I’ll describe some of these connections, and in an upcoming post, I’ll talk about why the stigma around […]
My Family Made Sex Normal, and I’m So Grateful
As I add to my blog post series on the case for sex ed (part 1, part 2, part 3, & part 4 are all available), I thought I’d leap in with a slightly more personal reflection on how informal sex education can be normalized and how this can benefit everyone. I was fortunate to […]
In Order to Fix Professional Boundaries, We Must Revolutionize the Meaning of Sex
I think about professional boundaries a lot. This is in large part because I occupy a number of professions: scholar, adjunct professor, sex educator, dance instructor, dance performer, and freelance writer, to name a few. I see a lot of people in a lot of different contexts (some of them even social!) and I like […]