Do you know what makes you excited, motivated, and eager? Psychologists tend to distinguish between two main types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. In this post I’ll discuss some relationship-oriented examples of each and encourage you to figure out your own motivation map. Funnily enough, the idea for this blog post came about while I was procrastinating […]
relationship communication
What If We Thought About Consent In Terms Of Food?
In my attempts to theorize consent, I sometimes think of it in terms of metaphors and stories (see my joking “tangerine consent” post for an example of this). Along those same lines, I began wondering: what if we thought of sexual consent in the same terms that we think of food? Ponder these scenarios: A woman […]
Cognitive Dissonance & Abstinence-Only Education (The Case for Sex Ed Part 1)
I’m kicking off a new blog post series called “The Case for Sex Ed.” In it, I’ll devote each post to a facet of the larger argument in favor of comprehensive, evidence-based sex education. This first post is about the cognitive dissonance inherent in abstinence-only educational programs (not to lose sight of the fact that these […]
Would You Do It To A Pet? …and Other Ways to Discuss Deviance & Consent
Here’s a reposted blog from my personal website, jeanajorgensen.com. Enjoy! There’s a journalistic account going around about a young man who identifies as a pedophile in that he’s attracted to children, but he has never acted on that attraction. In fact, he’s actively seeking help in order to keep from acting on it. Pedophilia is […]
The 12 Pillars of Polyamory for Everyone
I believe that understanding how relationships work is key to being happy in them, whether we’re talking about friendships, family relationships, monogamous relationships, non-monogamous relationships, or something else entirely. A friend recently shared The 12 Pillars of Polyamory (by Kenneth R. Haslam, MD) with me, and I thought, gosh, these ideas are just too good to keep […]
Jealousy and Language
Jealousy is a problem that irks many a relationship. It’s possible to be jealous of many different kinds of people or things, to be jealous of people who have what you want, or are with who you want to be with. You can be envious or someone for being the kind of person you’re not. […]
Asking for Sex vs. Asking about Sex
Wow. This is humbling. Just now, I created a tag called “sex ed learning moments” for precisely this kind of post, wherein I admit that learning to be a sex educator is a lifelong process, and I just caught myself doing something that I need to change. Or in this case, my husband caught me […]
Letting Jealousy Be Your Guide
One of the things I love doing as a sex educator (and an educator in general) is discovering parallels between different modes of communication and models for seeing the world. Sometimes this leads to me pointing out funny reversals in sexism, and sometimes it takes the form of applying ideas from gender studies to folklore […]
If You Can’t Talk About It, You Probably Shouldn’t Be Doing It
I was browsing sexuality forums recently, and saw somebody giving the advice: “If you can’t talk about it, you probably shouldn’t be doing it.” This notion intrigued me, so I decided to explore it further, considering how being able to verbalize one’s desires and actions can impact one’s sexual experiences and health. First, there’s your […]